Autistic Wonderland

I've decided that Xion is going to be the one who is Jewish. I forgot Demyx is kind of lazy and doesn't like doing anything. I want to do something more interesting and comical for his character that fits him. XD I'm not sure what yet but I know I'll think of something. I'm still trying to work on the plot but i really need help. I don't know any KH friends and that really sucks a lot. I could check around on LJ but I don't know if I'd find an active one. D:

 Three of the goals Roxas has in this story are:

• Learning about Christmas and what is so special about it.
• Learning about OTHER holidays that people celebrate instead of Christmas (IE Hanukkah)
• reaching Axel after being seperated before Christmas ends.
   

• Discovers that not everyone enjoys Christmas and that some people are geniune Scrooges. (IE Larxene and Marluxia)
• Becomes separated from Axel because of family/friend differences.

Though, i feel like it needs something more. D: I already have everything planned out in my head but... what happens if I lose those general ideas I get after halloween? What more can I do to make this an excellent story? I'm at a loss for ideas and stuff right now so I guess I'm asking for some help. >_<

 These are questions for my AkuRoku Christmas project that I need people to answer. They won't all be about Christmas. You are welcome to include your own holiday you celebrate. It will actually help me understand how to get into my fanfiction. If you celebrate Christmas, then you can answer the questions that way. I know every answer will be different, depending on the holidays and your experiences.

1.) How would you explain your holiday (Christmas, hanakkuh, etc...) to a child who has never heard of it or experienced it before?

2.) How would you show that child the joys and happiness of the holiday you celebrate? (for this one, Demyx is going to be jewish in this case since he strikes me as that. I got this idea where maybe Roxas gets to experience his holiday and whatever with the menorah.)

3.) What kind of things are really important for the holiday that you celebrate?

4.) How do you celebrate this holiday with your family?

 I got bored and wanted to write this. I won't start the story until after Halloween, at least. So it does give me time to plan what it will be about and whatever. I really do need some good ideas from people that know about Kingdom Hearts and the organization 13. Oh how I wish my friends Roku and Erica were still around. =.=

Also, I can't put it under a cut since I wrote it on my iPad. It might come out sort of weird and for that I do apologize. >< I hope you will still enjoy it, even if it's not Christmas yet. :D Thing is, I actually wrote this teaser really well and I'm pleased with it.

 I always create a sound track for my stories. You know, songs that relate to what my character is going through. I listen to these songs while I'm writing and they play a big part because they help me get into the story more.

So the soundtrack for current story is:


On another note, some things happened yesterday and last night... so I had to put off writing. I didn't get ANY sleep so I'm going to end up in one of my depressive states because of it. x_x I always do... ><;

 I'm thinking I might start my first chapter where the reader gets a first glimpse of Jade's home life since, a new idea I have, is how she falls into a deep depression which leads to cutting and self-harm. Her mother is a drunk because Jade's father was killed in a car accident just recently and has placed an impact on her mother's life. Jade still has an autistic spectrum disorder (I won't say Asperger Syndrome since I want it to be a mixed form of Autism). Her eighteen year old sister is has to take care of her as well as their mother.

Bullying will also play a big part in making Jade's life worse. I was thinking that traits of depression could start right away but be very mild and less affecting. That way the reader can get a feel for what's to come and prepare for the worst. I just need to find a few mild traits of depression that will start her off and then work my way up to the really disabling aspects, including her self-harm and cutting.

Of course, I decided to make it so Jade wants to make a difference at her school, instead of the world because it's a much smaller goal and maybe if I'm lucky, and I actually get through and finish this story, I can write a sequel where she tries to educate the world... I don't know. lol we'll see. Anyway, I was thinking that maybe, it could have something to do with what she's really into. She loves animals so maybe her goal could be to include vegetarian meals or meals for those with special needs (ie, food allergies, special diets). I just want it to have to do with her trying to make a difference at school, other than the high bullying rate, since that would seem to cliche with her being bullied as it is.

lol, sue me... I get all my ideas from Degrassi. I got the drunk mother idea from the episode where Ellie Nash starts cutting herself and the idea for Jade making a difference from Emma Nelson because she's always trying to do things that help the school or her environment. I might even have a times when Jade starts a group to help pick up trash around the school or read books to the kids who are in kindergarten... something where she is actually helping in some way and still manages to do something for her school.

One of the reasons she is bullied, is because people hate her for being so helpful and cheerful. It's something they want to destroy and ruin for her so she can be let down and whatever. Another reason is well, duh, she's different and isn't very social at all. Plus she has odd behaviors that none of them, not even the teachers really seem to understand, especially since she's really smart and isn't taken seriously as having special needs. (Mind you, I'm not saying people who really are severely disabled aren't smart. What I mean is that, it's the stereotype where they are misunderstood for NOT being smart when they actually are... if that makes sense. ><)

You are welcome to do this, if you are comfortable. I just decided I would mostly out of boredom and to help my fellow Dreamwidth users get to know me and my disability a lot better, since it seems more like I have developed both an online and offline persona that are both very different. XD

1.) I am the complete opposite of my online personality. In other words, I don't act the same way I do online then what I do offline. I am actually a very shy and quiet person offline who tends to function at the level of an eight year old. You already know my online persona.

2.) I have poor motor coordination in my left hand because my right hand covers most of my dominance. This can actually cause a bit of a disability for me since when I do use my left hand, instead of my right hand (IE, shaving my legs when holding a razor, using utensils, etc...) because it feels weaker and less able to hold things properly. You might think this normal but for me, I feel like it makes my life challenging because a lot of the times, a person uses both hands variously, while I always use my right hand because it's stronger.

3.) I do require sameness/structure, especially online. That means things have to stay the same and for me, i feel that when i am used to something being what it is, then I don't think it should be changed. It's always been difficult for me because of anxiety and dislike for changes when they do happen.

4.) I do take things literally, meaning that things can hurt me online and cause triggering affects, as they would offline. I do take the tone of your words seriously because for me, it's hard to tell what you are trying to say and other times it comes off as rude, when you might not be rude at all.

5.) I am an auditory learner. That means I can hear things and memorize them through auditory. In school, this baffled my teachers because where I had such a hard time studying from books or worksheets, I still zipped through my tests with flying colors because of this. My iPad is programmed so that it will read things to me when I tell it to do so, and helps me understand what is being said better, though my computer doesn't, as it doesn't have the right tools to do so.

6.) I have trouble hearing in my right ear. I have also failed my hearing tests and hear things I don't want to hear while also NOT hearing things I do or NEED to hear... if that makes sense. I've considered this to be due to numerous ear infections growing up that have possibly damaged my hearing.

7.) I take medication regularly. My first one covers both my sensory issues and ADHD symptoms as it is an stimulant medication. My second one helps regulate my depressive states and emotional problems that used to be very disabling. I also take another medication as needed for anxiety.

8.) I am a written expressionist. One of the reasons my writing is nearly college level like is because of practice and recognizing writing as a talent for expressing myself, especially when verbal and emotional expression tend to be more weaker. Most people have trouble understanding this and think I should be rediagnosed or evaluated.

9.) I am in therapy both for medication regulation and also see a therapist to discuss things like regulating my anxiety and emotions.

10.) I have terrible reading comprehension due to what I said in number five. It makes reading very difficult, even though I can read at almost college level. If you gave me a book, told me to read and then ask me questions about what I read, I wouldn't be able to tell you because I wouldn't remember.

11.) Music is like calming therapy for me. You give me music and I won't speak for hours. I will also be more calmer in stressful situations.

12.) I carry around my Kaito plush everywhere I go. He calms me and makes me feel happier because he helped me get through Saboten without any problem.

If you want to know more, feel free to ask. XD I got bored so... yeah.

 I'm still having the hardest time with writing this story. It's like my brain just doesn't want to function or work around my ideas at all. I'm inspired to write something people can relate to and yet... I can't write anything. It's so frustrating. I need tips or something on how to get back into writing. Maybe it is writer's block and maybe it isn't.

I just want to write a story about an autistic girl making a difference in the world. I want it to be about her making sacrifices in her life as well as facing many challenges with her condition. I want it to be about her finding the inspiration to keep going and never giving up, despite getting bullied and pushed around everyday. I want it to inspire both NTs and autistic people.

That's all I want but I just don't know how to put it into a story and make it work. My mind feels like it's dead and short of any ideas. I thought of her being a peace-loving vegetarian but I think that might be a bit much for her so I might have her be just a vegetarian. D: Her true goal is to make a difference in the world and help people understand her condtiion. She wants to be an inspiration to others.

 I think I'll leave this as public since I'll be using it as a writing blog. I might update a few times on my condition but only if the mood strikes me or I have something I need to rant about. If you have LJ then you can add me on there. That one is friends only and also a paid account. I'm actually fed up with LJ because they are making changes and no one seems to realize what having autism is like.

I mean if only one person complains who is like me, they aren't going to care, I know but it still drives me nuts because I like the post entry setup now. It's bad enough they took my writer's block away and now they are forcing me to like some new update page? Yeah... not going to happen. =.=

Later, I'll do tags but right now I'm so aggravated that I want to scream. >_>;